Yearbook Entry — Class 6C: a love of Mathematics, and a tribute to an attentive, caring class
The Yearbook Committee is putting together a book for all graduating students. You are a student in Class 6C at Kowloon Secondary School. Complete the following yearbook entry (about 200 words, on pages 2–3).
1.2 Student Life — Write about what you will miss most about being a student in Class 6C.
A polished, heartfelt entry (the batch’s 5** candidate): 1.1 turns a love of Mathematics into a story of persistence (“My journey with Math was not a smooth one”); 1.2 is a warm tribute to an attentive, supportive Class 6C, continuing onto the supplementary sheet.
Show original handwritten pages (3)
The writing, with corrections marked inline
Strengths to praise
Maths is personified — “Maths had not been nice and kind to me until I entered senior year” — and the section is framed as a “journey… not a smooth one”. Turning a school subject into a character the writer has a relationship with is a confident, engaging move.
“There were times when I got frustrated… and even wanted to give up. However, the more challenging the questions were, the more motivated I got.” The arc — frustration, persistence, then love — gives the ‘challenging subject’ prompt real shape and a satisfying payoff (“Maths gave me possibilities”).
“differentiation”, “yearned for the opportunity”, “I will cherish every last moment”. The word choice is exact and varied, and the register stays controlled throughout — a clear 5** signal.
A named teacher (“Mr Chan”), a specific topic (“how Newton worked out the differentiation formula”), and vivid classroom images (“raised our hands and yearned…”, “no one would ever slouch”) keep both sections specific rather than generic.
1.1 delivers a genuine ‘challenging subject’ story; 1.2 answers ‘what you’ll miss’ with the class’s attentiveness, kindness and a “caring environment… filled with love”. Each section lands its own clear point.
The shift to “you guys” (“I truly appreciate how you guys have created an ideal learning environment”) and the example of classmates who “lend a helping hand without second thought” make the entry feel written for the people who will read it — exactly the yearbook register.
Grammar notes
| Issue | Explanation |
|---|---|
fix (line 5) countless formula → countless formulae | Number. countless needs a plural noun: countless formulae (or formulas). Singular is formula. |
fix (line 14) frustrated at the numbers → frustrated by the numbers | Preposition. We are frustrated by (or with) something: frustrated by the numbers and tangents. |
fix (line 33) every single brain cells of ours → every single brain cell of ours | Number. every single takes a singular noun: every single brain cell. |
fix (line 39) difficulties with resisting biology terms → difficulties with reciting biology terms | Word choice. resisting (= opposing) does not fit; the sense is reciting / memorising biology terms. (A likely slip for reciting.) |
notice (line 13) not a smooth one | Voice. “My journey with Math was not a smooth one” frames the whole section as a story — a small, effective metaphor. |
notice (line 11) the satisfaction was unreal | Register. ‘Unreal’ (informal, = amazing) lands the feeling of solving a hard problem vividly, without tipping into slang overload. |
notice (line 27) yearned for the opportunity | Vocabulary. yearn for (= long for) is a strong, slightly literary verb — well chosen for the class’s eagerness to answer. |
Style suggestions
“When I had difficulties with resisting biology terms…”
“When I struggled to memorise biology terms…”
‘Resisting’ means opposing; the sentence wants memorising / reciting.
“I will probably miss the atmosphere in the lesson the most.”
“I will probably miss the atmosphere in our lessons the most.”
The plural (or ‘in class’) reads more naturally than the singular ‘the lesson’.
“the more challenging the questions were, the more motivated I got, and the harder I worked on them”
“the harder the questions, the more they drove me on — and the harder I worked”
The parallel structure is effective; a slight trim keeps it from feeling formulaic.
“Everyone was providing and giving instead of receiving.”
“Everyone gave rather than took.”
‘Providing and giving’ doubles the same idea; one verb is crisper.
“The one subject that is challenging yet the most enjoyable for me is undoubtedly Mathematics.”
“Years from now, when you flip to this page, know this: Maths nearly broke me — and then I fell for it.”
A yearbook entry can lean into speaking to the future reader; an opening hook suits the genre.
“driving us to utilize every single brain cells of ours”
“pushing us to use every last brain cell”
Singular ‘brain cell’ + ‘every last’ makes the light, self-aware humour land.
Strong moment worth teaching from
Essentially clean — the only tweak is ‘formulae’. The narrative framing is the lesson.
“My journey with Math was not a smooth one. There were times when I got frustrated at the numbers and tangents, and even wanted to give up. However, the more challenging the questions were, the more motivated I got… Maths gave me possibilities.” (lines 13–20)
The prompt asks about a ‘challenging’ subject, and the easy answer is to list what was hard. Instead, this writer tells a small story — struggle, the temptation to quit, a turn, and a resolution (‘Maths gave me possibilities’). Framing information as a narrative arc, even in a 100-word section, is what makes reflective writing memorable rather than merely informative.
Professional rewrite — the ‘attentive class’ passage
A light polish of an already-strong passage — to show how trimming small redundancies lets the warmth come through.
Student (verbatim, edits folded in)
Professional version
- Parallelism: ‘eagerness to learn and actively participating’ → ‘so eager to learn and so ready to join in’.
- Agreement: ‘every single brain cells’ → ‘every last brain cell’.
- Concision: ‘Having interactions with’ → ‘our exchanges with’.
- The affection and the ‘brain cell’ humour are kept.
Vocabulary to notice
| Word & alternatives | Definition | Usage notes |
|---|---|---|
| undoubtedly unquestionably, certainly, without doubt | (adv.) certainly; without any doubt. | “is undoubtedly Mathematics”. A confident sentence-adverb; good for committing clearly to a choice. |
| differentiation (calculus) finding a derivative | (n.) the calculus process of finding the rate of change of a function. | “how Newton worked out the differentiation formula”. A precise technical term, used correctly — concrete detail that shows genuine engagement with the subject. |
| intriguing fascinating, captivating, absorbing | (adj.) very interesting because unusual or mysterious. | “the intriguing stories behind each of them”. Stronger and more curious than interesting; from intrigue (to arouse curiosity). |
| yearn (for) long for, crave, ache for | (v.) to want something very much. | “yearned for the opportunity to answer”. Slightly literary; conveys strong, almost emotional desire — vivid for the class’s eagerness. |
| cherish treasure, hold dear, value | (v.) to protect and love something; to keep it as precious. | “I will cherish every last moment”. Warmer than remember or keep; ideal for a nostalgic, valedictory tone. |
| attentive focused, alert, engaged | (adj.) paying close attention. | “Everyone was attentive during the lessons”. Note the contrast set up next (no one ‘sleeping or fidgeting’) — a tidy way to evidence the claim. |
| possibilities opportunities, potential, openings | (n., plural) things that may happen or be achieved. | “Maths gave me possibilities”. A quietly powerful closing word — it widens a single subject into a sense of future opportunity. |
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