Yearbook Entry — Class 6C: a love of Biology, and a fond farewell to ‘my 6C monkeys’
The Yearbook Committee is putting together a book for all graduating students. You are a student in Class 6C at Kowloon Secondary School. Complete the following yearbook entry (about 200 words, on pages 2–3).
1.2 Student Life — Write about what you will miss most about being a student in Class 6C.
A funny, warm entry: 1.1 admits Maths was a struggle (“Mr Smith… I’m sorry!”) but turns into a heartfelt ode to Biology; 1.2 celebrates a playful Class 6C, ending “All the best! My 6C monkeys!”.
Show original handwritten pages (3)
The writing, with corrections marked inline
Strengths to praise
“If I were to be completely honest, I did not particularly enjoy studying… (Mr Smith, if you’re reading this — I’m sorry!)” and the sign-off “All the best! My 6C monkeys!”. The honesty and humour are exactly the register a yearbook entry wants — it sounds like a real person, written for real readers.
Pivoting from ‘I disliked studying’ to “I adored Biology… how amazing our body is” answers the prompt with a genuine enthusiasm, and even finds emotional meaning in it (“this weird sense of support that gives me motivation to stay strong”). That turn from honest reluctance to real passion is engaging.
The body’s “nervous system, the hormonal system, the immune system and the skeletal muscles”, and the specific class memory of Peter editing picnic footage with a cheeky caption, keep both sections grounded in specifics rather than vague praise.
“antagonistic attitude”, “captivating and mind-blowing”, systems that “work hand in glove”. The word choice reaches confidently and the idiom lands naturally.
Instead of ‘we had fun’, the entry gives one concrete, funny scene — the edited picnic clip and its caption — then steps back (“Oh, those were the days!”). One vivid anecdote conveys the class’s character far better than a list of adjectives.
The entry addresses a teacher (“Mr Smith, if you’re reading this”) and signs off to classmates (“My 6C monkeys!”). Speaking directly to the people who’ll open the yearbook is precisely the move the text type rewards.
Grammar notes
| Issue | Explanation |
|---|---|
fix (line 2) I did not particularly enjoy studying. Especially Maths. → …studying, especially Maths. | Sentence fragment. “Especially Maths.” has no verb; attach it to the previous sentence with a comma: …enjoy studying, especially Maths. (Fine as a deliberate fragment in very informal writing, but safer joined.) |
fix (line 6) the complex systems of ours are running complex processes → …are running intricate processes | Word repetition. complex appears twice in one clause; vary the second (intricate / countless): our complex systems are running intricate processes. |
fix (line 21) any teacher that has taught 6C → any teacher who has taught 6C | Relative pronoun. Use who for people: any teacher who has taught 6C. (that is acceptable but who is preferred for a person.) |
fix (line 34) definately → definitely | Spelling. definitely (think ‘finite’ in the middle) — a very common misspelling. |
notice (line 10) work hand in glove | Idiom. ‘Hand in glove’ (= working very closely together) is apt for the body’s systems — idiomatic and exact. |
notice (line 8) captivating and mind-blowing | Vocabulary. A strong pairing that conveys genuine wonder at the body — far better than ‘interesting’. |
notice (line 36) My 6C monkeys! | Voice. An affectionate, playful sign-off — exactly the kind of personal touch that makes a yearbook entry feel real. |
Style suggestions
“how the complex systems of ours are running complex processes day and night”
“how our complex systems run intricate processes day and night”
Repeating ‘complex’ flattens the sentence; one strong adjective each is crisper.
“I did not particularly enjoy studying. Especially Maths.”
“I did not particularly enjoy studying — especially Maths.”
A dash keeps the comic beat while fixing the fragment.
“to support me, an insignificant, ordinary and average individual”
“to support me — one ordinary, average individual”
Three near-synonyms pile up; two is plenty and hits harder.
“I would like to further explore this fantastic and mysterious field of study in my future days!”
“I’d love to explore this fascinating field further in the years ahead!”
‘In the years ahead’ is more idiomatic than ‘in my future days’.
“I still remember distinctly how Peter — our class clown, edited the picnic footage…”
“I’ll never forget our class clown, Peter, editing the picnic footage…”
A cleaner lead-in (and matching dashes/commas) lets the funny image land.
“any teacher that has taught 6C”
“any teacher who has taught 6C”
For people, who reads more naturally than that.
Strong moment worth teaching from
Essentially clean — only the doubled ‘complex’ to vary. The emotional turn is the lesson.
“It is truly amazing and inspiring, how hard numerous body cells work together to support me, an… average individual. After studying biology, I have this weird sense of support that gives me motivation to stay strong in my hard times.” (lines 12–16)
The prompt only asks about a subject — but this writer finds an unexpected, personal meaning in it: the body’s cells ‘working hard’ become a private source of comfort during exam stress. Turning factual content (biology) into genuine feeling is what makes reflective writing memorable, and it’s done here lightly, without forcing it.
Professional rewrite — the opening of 1.1
A light polish of the opening — keeping the candid humour, fixing the fragment and the repetition.
Student (verbatim, edits folded in)
Professional version
- Fragment: ‘Especially Maths.’ joined with a dash.
- Repetition: ‘complex…complex’ → ‘complex…intricate’.
- Concision: ‘antagonistic attitude towards’ → ‘reluctance towards’.
- The joke to Mr Smith and the love of Biology — the best parts — are kept.
Vocabulary to notice
| Word & alternatives | Definition | Usage notes |
|---|---|---|
| antagonistic hostile, resistant, opposed | (adj.) showing active opposition or dislike. | “my antagonistic attitude towards schoolwork”. Strong and slightly formal; collocates with attitude towards / relationship. Noun antagonism. |
| captivating fascinating, enthralling, spellbinding | (adj.) holding the attention completely; charming. | “It is captivating and mind-blowing…”. From captivate (to capture attention); stronger than interesting. |
| mind-blowing astonishing, staggering, awe-inspiring | (adj., informal) extremely impressive or surprising. | “captivating and mind-blowing”. Informal but vivid; fine in a personal yearbook register. Hyphenated. |
| hand in glove closely together, in close cooperation | (idiom) working very closely with someone/something. | “work hand in glove”. Often slightly negative (conspiring) elsewhere, but here it neatly means systems cooperating closely. |
| insignificant unimportant, minor, negligible | (adj.) too small or unimportant to matter. | “an insignificant, ordinary… individual”. Effective self-deprecation here; opposite significant. |
| optimistic positive, hopeful, upbeat | (adj.) hopeful and confident about the future. | “our optimistic mindset”. Pairs with mindset / outlook / attitude; noun optimism. |
| industrious hard-working, diligent, conscientious | (adj.) working hard and steadily. | “Studious? Serious? Industrious?” Used in a playful triple question; a precise, formal synonym for hard-working. |
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