In Defence of Fresh Graduates [working title — the student’s actual letter has no headline]

2017 HKDSE English Paper 2 · Q9 (Part B) · analysed 12 May 2026
Year: 2017 Part: B Question: Q9 Genre: letter to the editor (argumentative) Grade band: 5** Marks: 21 + 20 = 41 / 42 Candidate: 2017-004

Question prompt (Q9 — Learning English through Workplace Communication)

It has recently been claimed that in the workplace many Hong Kong fresh university graduates are less hard-working and less willing to face challenges compared to those in the past. You strongly disagree with this opinion.

Write a letter to the editor of the Hong Kong Daily disagreeing with this opinion. Support your view with three reasons and/or examples. (~400 words)

Show original handwritten pages (5)

Page 60 — opening — Page 60 (booklet p.9)

Page 61 — second argument — Page 61 (booklet p.10)

Page 62 — higher education argument — Page 62 (booklet p.11)

Page 63 — part-time work argument — Page 63 (booklet p.12)

Page 64 — supplementary sheet S1, conclusion — Page 64 (Supplementary S1)

The writing, with corrections marked inline

Legend: ~~red strikethrough~~ = removed | green highlight = added or replaced | yellow highlight = handwriting unclear

Booklet p.9 (lines 1–23)
1Dear Editor,
2 
3I am writing in response to the recent claim of many
4that Hong Kong fresh university graduates are less hard-working
5and less willing to face challenges compared to those in the past.
6It goes without saying that the socio-economic situation
7of Hong Kong has changed drastically in these the past
8few decades. To make our judgement To judge today’s
9on the fresh graduates with the same standard a
10decade ago, fresh graduates by the same standard as those a decade ago is unfair, I am going to illustrate
11my stance in the following content paragraphs.
12 
13To commence with To begin with, there is conclusive
14evidence for the escalating willingness of fresh graduates
15to face challenges. Last year, the government launched
16a programme to subsidize the establishment of small-scale
17businesses by fresh graduates. The Labour Department received
1810,000 applications from fresh graduates aged
1922 to 30, which is way more
20than the expected number of applications.
21Amongst the proposal proposals submitted, novel
22ideas are not uncommon, say food
23trucks in theme parks, local production of goods
Booklet p.10 (lines 24–46)
24from recyclables. This implies that fresh graduates
25are bold enough to step out of their comfort
26zone and not satisfied to be employees of
27local enterprises. Back in the older days,
28university graduates were rare and they were
29often offered both opportunities to be hired as management
30personnel of some top-notch enterprises
31locally and internationally — for example, human
32resources managers of HSBC or financial analysts of
33JP Morgan. With the contagion With time, the number of fresh
34graduates in Hong Kong has been skyrocketing,
35inducing a keen competition for employment
36between fresh graduates and their counterparts.
37Those who lose in this hostile battle can
38only enter low-tier establishments or
39businesses or even oversees overseas employment. This saddening
40fact has forced fresh graduates to face the
41reality and accept any employment
42offer regardless of its salary and benefits.
43To exemplify, some fresh graduates have had to
44accepted employment offers from
45Mainland China albeit that the cultural difference
46is not as familiar as it was for their predecessor predecessors,
Booklet p.11 (lines 47–67)
47and they may experience discrimination and unfairness.
48They have to do so in order to struggle their living
49make a living. As such, fresh graduates are
50increasingly willing to face challenges arising from
51this inhospitable employment situation.
52 
53Regarding the claim that university graduates
54are less hard-working, I reckon it as a find this a nonsense claim.
55Due to the keen competition from local
56counterparts and the influx of labour brought by
57globalization, the difficulty for fresh graduates to be
58recruited is mounting. Hoping to maintain
59their competitiveness, many fresh graduates
60pursue further studies — or matter a master’s or even
61a doctoral degree. To most fresh As most fresh graduates
62are are already in the workforce, they can only pursue
63their postgraduate degree at a part-time manner
64basis, which will lengthen the time of completion
65of the degree by 2–3 years. Even more Worse still, this
66mode of study often induces excruciating stress and
67physical tiredness as they still have to compromise complete
Booklet p.12 (lines 68–89)
68all tasks assigned by their superiors, make making the
69completion of the first priority degree a second priority.
70One of my cousins who is
71currently pursuing his Doctor of Philosophy in
72Science told me that “working round
73the clock becomes part of his life” —
74among he is out of office before 9, hurrying to HKU at moment 10,
75and working on his assignments and projects
76in the laboratory till sunrise. This kind of lifestyle
77suggests that those who want to climb up
78the social ladder do, and tirelessly so. I see no proof that these
79fresh graduates are not hardworking.
80 
81Furthermore, some fresh graduates
82are so hardworking that they have applied for taken on
83several part-time jobs in addition to their
84primary full-time employment. Not only do these
85fresh graduates want to maintain their competitiveness,
86it is also their wish to improve
87their families’ quality of living by earning some
88extra money. The millennials are do not have a
89smooth employment pathway pathways as their predecessor predecessors did;
Supp. sheet S1 (lines 90–107) — conclusion
90instead, most of them experience hardship
91when looking for job openings and end up
92generating an income that is even not even
93self-sustainable enough to bring truth get by,
94let alone afford to contribute their food kindly to their
95family. Coupled with the escalating living
96costs, most of the fresh graduates will then apply for
97all sorts of part-time jobs and contracts — say as
98assistants, cashiers, etc. They have to leave give up
99the time which should be used to develop friendships
100and entertainment for these sacrifices. Can such sacrifices
101not be a piece of evidence of their hard work?
102 
103In all, such claim a claim shows how naive some people are;
104it also reveals how miserable some of the graduates’
105life lives is are. It requires collaboration collaborative effort from
106the government and employers to eradicate the suffering endured
107by the fresh graduates — not cause to the [unclear].
108 
109Yours faithfully,
110Choi Lo Tong

Polished completion of the final clause

The closing fragment “not cause to the [unclear]” on line 107 is illegible in the handwriting, but from context the sentence is reaching for “…to eradicate the suffering endured by fresh graduates, not deepen it” or similar — a closing reminder that the editor’s claim worsens, rather than helps, the situation. A clean completion:

“It requires collaborative effort from the government and employers to eradicate the suffering endured by fresh graduates — not to add to it with claims that have no basis in their daily reality.”

Sign-off name. The signature on the supplementary sheet is hard to read with confidence. “Choi Lo Tong” is my best reading. The question doesn’t specify a sign-off name, so the student is free to invent one.

Continuation onto a supplementary sheet. The student ran out of space at the bottom of booklet page 12 (PDF page 63) and continued the final paragraph + conclusion on Supplementary Answer Sheet A (S1, PDF page 64). The Question No. box on the supplementary sheet correctly shows Q9 ticked.

Word count note: the full letter (main answer book + supplementary sheet) runs to roughly 650 words — well over the 400-word target. The argument is full and well-developed; a tightening pass would bring it on target without losing the substance.

Several lines have student crossings-out and insertions. The transcription above preserves the student’s intended reading where the edits are clear, and marks unclear spots in yellow.

Strengths to praise

1. Hits the prompt’s “strongly disagree” register from the first paragraph

The student doesn’t hedge. The opening sets up the case quickly (“the socio-economic situation of Hong Kong has changed drastically in the past few decades”) and frames the editor’s claim as built on outdated standards. This is exactly the rhetorical move a strong opinion-piece writer makes: reframe before refuting.

2. Specific, named evidence rather than generalities

The piece references the Labour Department‘s 10,000 applications, the government’s small-business subsidy programme, named employers (HSBC, JP Morgan), a named destination (Mainland China), and a named institution (HKU). The student also brings in a personal anecdote (the PhD cousin). Specificity beats abstraction in argumentative writing.

3. Three distinct arguments, each fully developed

The letter has three clear claims: (1) graduates are more willing to face challenges (entrepreneurship, overseas work); (2) graduates are pursuing higher degrees while working; (3) graduates are taking on multiple jobs to support their families. Each gets its own paragraph and its own examples. The triadic structure is textbook persuasive writing.

4. Then-vs-now framing as a sustained move

The contrast “back in the older days” vs the current era runs through the piece and gives it coherence: graduates used to be rare and welcomed; now they are common and squeezed. This historical framing transforms a defensive argument into an analytical one.

5. Strong, mostly accurate, ambitious vocabulary

Words like conclusive evidence, escalating, novel, top-notch, skyrocketing, hostile battle, low-tier, inhospitable, mounting, excruciating, millennials, self-sustainable, eradicate, endured are all deployed in the right collocations. The student reaches high without often falling.

6. Emotional + factual balance

The final paragraphs add an emotional register the earlier paragraphs lack — “such a claim shows how naive some people are; it also reveals how miserable some of the graduates’ lives are”. Pairing data (10,000 applications, 2–3 extra years for a part-time PhD) with feeling (the PhD cousin’s exhaustion, the cashier shift) is the textbook recipe for a persuasive op-ed.

Grammar notes

Issue	Explanation
(lines 3–4) `the recent claim of many [that]` → insert `that`	Reported speech needs the conjunction: the claim that, the suggestion that, the belief that.
(lines 4–5) `are less hard-working and willing to face challenges` → `less hard-working and less willing`	Without the second less, the sentence reads as “less hard-working AND willing” — which would mean graduates ARE willing. Inserting the second less binds the comparison correctly.
(line 29) `both opportunities to be hired` → `opportunities to be hired`	Both only works when two things are paired (both opportunities and obligations). Here it doesn’t refer to a pair, so drop it.
(line 33) `With the contagion` → `With time` / `Over the years`	Contagion means the spread of disease (or, by extension, the spread of an emotion or behaviour). It doesn’t fit the time-passing meaning the student wants. Most likely a memory slip for another word; over the years is the natural choice.
(line 39) `oversees employment` → `overseas employment`	Homophone slip. Oversee is a verb (to supervise). Overseas is the adjective for “abroad.”
(lines 45–46) `the cultural difference is not as familiar as their predecessor`	The comparison wobbles between two ideas. Cleaner: “the cultural difference is starker than it was for their predecessors” or “the culture is less familiar to them than it was to their predecessors”.
(line 54) `I reckon it as a nonsense statement` → `I find this claim absurd` / `I regard this as nonsense`	Two issues. Reckon is conversational, slightly slangy — off-register in a formal letter. And the construction is I reckon X (is) Y, not I reckon X as Y. I regard X as Y works grammatically.
(lines 60–61) `or matter or even doctoral degree` → `a master's or even a doctoral degree`	Matter is almost certainly a slip for master’s. Articles needed: a master’s degree, a doctoral degree.
(lines 63–64) `at a part-time manner` → `on a part-time basis`	Idiom: in a [adjective] manner (in a polite manner) or on a part-time basis. At is the wrong preposition for both.
(line 67) `compromise all tasks` → `complete all tasks`	Compromise means to undermine or to settle by mutual concession; neither fits the context. The student almost certainly means complete or carry out.
(line 88) `The millennials are not have a smooth employment pathway` → `The millennials do not have a smooth employment pathway`	Two auxiliaries collide. Use one or the other — almost always do not have in this construction.
(line 92) `generating an income that is even not self-sustainable` → `that is not even self-sustainable`	Word order. Not even is a fixed phrase; even not jars.
(lines 97–98) `say assistants, cashier, etc.` → `such as assistants, cashiers, etc.`	Say for “such as” is borderline acceptable in very informal English but unusual in a formal letter. Such as, like, including are safer.
(line 103) `such claim` → `such a claim`	Countable singular nouns need an article after such: such a claim, such a person, such an idea.
(lines 104–105) `how miserable some of the graduates' life is` → `some of the graduates' lives are`	Subject-verb agreement: the subject is some of the graduates’ lives, which is plural.

Style suggestions (where strong writing could become outstanding)

Categories: Fluency sentence flow, collocations, rhythm. Authenticity places that sound student-y or translated; how a native voice would say it. Text-type fit matching the conventions of the genre — here, a letter to a newspaper editor.

Suggestion 1 · lead with the editor’s claim, then dismantle it

Text-type fit lines 3–11

Original: “I am writing in response to the recent claim of many that Hong Kong fresh university graduates are less hard-working and less willing to face challenges…”

Try: “Your recent piece argued that Hong Kong’s fresh university graduates have grown lazy and risk-averse. As one of them, I would like to set the record straight.”

Letters to the editor land best when they (a) quote or summarise the offending claim, (b) state who the writer is, and (c) state the rebuttal — all in the first two sentences. The original takes three sentences to declare intent.

Suggestion 2 · replace “It goes without saying”

Authenticity lines 6–7

Original: “It goes without saying that the socio-economic situation of Hong Kong has changed drastically…”

Try: “The Hong Kong of today is not the Hong Kong of twenty years ago.”

It goes without saying is a phrase essays use to add weight to obvious claims — but if it goes without saying, why say it? The rewrite makes the same point with sharper imagery.

Suggestion 3 · tighten “10,000 applications” into a hammer line

Fluency lines 17–20

Original: “The Labour Department received 10,000 applications from fresh graduates aged 22 to 30, which is way more than the expected number of applications.”

Try: “The Labour Department received 10,000 applications from graduates aged 22 to 30 — many times what the scheme had been designed to handle.”

Numbers land hardest at the end of a sentence. The original’s way more than the expected number of applications trails off; the rewrite turns the over-subscription into an image (many times what the scheme had been designed to handle).

Suggestion 4 · pick a less mysterious word than “contagion”

Fluency lines 33–34

Original: “With the contagion, the number of fresh graduates in Hong Kong has been skyrocketing…”

Try: “Over the years, the number of fresh graduates in Hong Kong has skyrocketed…”

Contagion is the spread of disease (or by extension, panic, fear, behaviour). It doesn’t carry the time-passing meaning the sentence needs. This is likely a memory slip; over the years, with the passing of time, as the years have gone by all work.

Suggestion 5 · humanise the PhD cousin paragraph

Text-type fit lines 70–76

Original: “One of my cousins, who is currently pursuing his Doctor of Philosophy in Science, told me that ‘working round the clock becomes part of his life’ — he is out of office before 9, hurrying to HKU at 10, and working on his assignments and projects in the laboratory till sunrise.”

Try: “My own cousin is pursuing a PhD in Science at HKU while holding a full-time job. He leaves work at nine, rides the MTR straight to the lab, and is still at his desk when the sun comes up.”

The original is one long sentence with a partial quotation that doesn’t quite fit the grammar. Splitting it into two sentences with concrete physical details (rides the MTR straight to the lab, still at his desk when the sun comes up) makes the anecdote land harder.

Suggestion 6 · replace the meta-comment about millennials

Authenticity lines 88–91

Original: “The millennials do not have smooth employment pathways as their predecessors did; instead, most of them experience hardship…”

Try: “My generation does not walk into the smooth career paths our parents did; we scrape together what work we can find…”

Letters to editors gain authority when the writer claims membership in the group being defended. The millennials sounds like an outside observer; my generation says I am one of them.

Suggestion 7 · sharpen “such a claim shows how naive some people are”

Text-type fit lines 103–105

Original: “In all, such a claim shows how naive some people are; it also reveals how miserable some of the graduates’ lives are.”

Try: “The claim that today’s graduates are lazy is not just wrong — it is cruel. It blames the very generation it is failing.”

The original makes two points but neither lands. The rewrite condenses the indictment into two short sentences with rhetorical sting. “It blames the very generation it is failing” is the kind of line letters get quoted for.

Suggestion 8 · land the closing call with a clearer action

Text-type fit lines 105–107

Original: “It requires collaborative effort from the government and employers to eradicate the suffering endured by fresh graduates — not [cause to the unclear].”

Try: “What our generation needs from the government and from employers is collaboration — not column inches that mistake exhaustion for laziness.”

The original ends in an unclear fragment. The rewrite finishes the thought with an action (collaboration) and an image specifically aimed at the editor (column inches). Letters to the editor benefit from a closing line that turns the rhetorical screw back on the publication itself.

Professional rewrite — landing the conclusion (weak moment)

For comparison only, not a correction. The student’s argument across pages 60–63 is full and well-evidenced, but the closing paragraph on the supplementary sheet falters — the final clause breaks off into illegible handwriting (“not cause to the [unclear]”, line 107) and the call to action is buried. I picked the closing paragraph because it’s the weakest stretch of an otherwise strong piece, and because letters to the editor live or die by their landing.

The student’s closing paragraph (corrected, with the unclear fragment kept)

In all, such a claim shows how naive some people are; it also reveals how miserable some of the graduates’ lives are. It requires collaborative effort from the government and employers to eradicate the suffering endured by fresh graduates — not cause to the [unclear].

Rewritten by a professional opinion-page editor

The claim that my generation has grown lazy is not just wrong — it is cruel. It blames the very young people it is failing, and it relieves the government, employers, and yes, the press, of the questions they should be asking themselves.

What we need from all of you is collaboration: training schemes that lead to real careers, housing policies that do not consume our first salaries whole, and reporting that distinguishes exhaustion from indolence. Until then, please credit us with the same effort our parents were credited with — even when our salaries do not yet match what our parents earned at our age.

What the rewrite is doing differently:

Names the indictment in one short sentence. “The claim that my generation has grown lazy is not just wrong — it is cruel.” Op-ed conclusions need a single line the reader will take away.
Distributes blame specifically. Instead of vague “the government and employers”, the rewrite enumerates: the government, employers, and yes, the press — with the last item aimed directly at the letter’s recipient (the editor).
Three concrete asks instead of one abstract one. Training schemes, housing policies, distinguishing exhaustion from indolence. The rule of three again, but each item is the kind of policy a reader can imagine being implemented.
A closing line that turns the rhetorical screw. “…even when our salaries do not yet match what our parents earned at our age.” Letters to editors benefit from a single quotable last line; this one indicts both the editor and the wider system.
The “we” is explicit. My generation, what we need, our parents. The student’s letter argues for a group; the rewrite places the writer firmly inside that group.

Vocabulary to notice

Word	Definition	Usage notes	Synonyms / alternatives
socio-economic	(adj.) relating to or concerned with the interaction of social and economic factors.	Hyphenated. Pairs with situation, conditions, status, background, factors. Standard term in policy writing.	socioeconomic, social and economic
drastically	(adv.) extremely; severely.	Carries a sense of urgency or unwelcome change. Pairs with change, reduce, decline, increase.	severely, radically, dramatically, sharply
conclusive (evidence)	(adj.) serving to settle or prove something; definitive.	Strong word for evidence: conclusive proof, conclusive evidence, conclusive findings. Compare with compelling (persuasive but not necessarily final).	definitive, decisive, irrefutable, incontestable
escalating	(adj./v.) increasing or developing rapidly.	Often negative (escalating costs, escalating tensions), but can be neutral or positive in argumentative writing (escalating willingness, escalating demand).	rising, growing, mounting, soaring
novel (idea)	(adj.) new or unusual in an interesting way.	Used of ideas, approaches, solutions. Distinct from novel the noun. Compare with innovative (more positive).	new, original, fresh, innovative
top-notch	(adj., informal) of the highest quality; excellent.	Colloquial but accepted in opinion writing. Pairs with service, talent, company, school. Hyphenated.	first-rate, world-class, premier, elite
skyrocketing	(v., participle) increasing very steeply or rapidly.	Often negative for prices and costs; can be positive for popularity or sales. More vivid than rising.	soaring, spiking, surging, ballooning
induce	(v.) to bring about or give rise to.	Often used of effects, conditions, behaviours: induce sleep, induce competition, induce vomiting. Slightly formal.	cause, produce, trigger, engender
counterpart	(n.) a person or thing that corresponds to or has the same function as another.	Common in journalism and policy writing: their counterparts overseas, their British counterparts. Always implies a parallel.	equivalent, opposite number, peer, parallel
hostile	(adj.) unfriendly; antagonistic.	Strong. Used figuratively here for a competitive environment (hostile battle, hostile market, hostile takeover). Compare with tough (less charged).	aggressive, antagonistic, adversarial, unwelcoming
low-tier	(adj.) of a lower rank or category.	Hyphenated when attributive. Common in employment writing: low-tier jobs, low-tier roles. Compare with entry-level.	lower-grade, junior, entry-level
albeit	(conj.) although; even though.	Formal. Used to introduce a contrasting clause without starting a new sentence. “He won, albeit narrowly.”	although, even though, though, despite the fact that
inhospitable	(adj.) (of an environment) harsh and difficult to live in; (of a person) unfriendly.	Used both literally (climates, terrains) and figuratively (markets, working conditions). Strong negative.	harsh, hostile, unfavourable, unwelcoming
influx	(n.) an arrival or entry of large numbers of people or things.	Strong word for population movement: an influx of migrants, of capital, of tourists, of labour. Pairs with massive, sudden, unexpected.	inflow, arrival, surge, wave
mounting	(adj.) increasing or accumulating, often in an unwelcome way.	Pairs with pressure, tension, debt, evidence, concern, difficulty. Slightly negative.	growing, increasing, accumulating, building
excruciating	(adj.) intensely painful; (also: tediously boring).	Strong. Used both physically (excruciating pain) and figuratively (excruciating stress, excruciating detail).	agonizing, unbearable, intense, severe
millennials	(n., plural) people born between (roughly) the early 1980s and mid-1990s.	Common in social and economic writing. Often discussed in contrast to Gen X or Gen Z. Definite article often dropped: millennials, not the millennials.	Generation Y, the millennial generation
self-sustainable	(adj.) able to be maintained without external support.	Common in economics and environmental writing. Hyphenated. Compare with self-sufficient (similar but more about needs being met internally).	self-sufficient, self-supporting, viable
eradicate	(v.) destroy completely; put an end to.	Strong. Pairs with poverty, disease, hunger, corruption, suffering. Sounds more activist than reduce.	eliminate, wipe out, root out, abolish
endure	(v.) to suffer through or undergo (something difficult) with patience.	Carries a sense of admirable resilience. Pairs with hardship, suffering, pain, criticism.	suffer, bear, withstand, weather